Memories Of the Hart
by reilert79
Summary: Jennifer and Jonathan find out the minister who married them wasn't a real priest.
1. Chapter 1

***Willow Pond***

Jonathan and Jennifer were sitting on the couch, having a cocktail.

Jonathan was filling Jennifer in about his latest business venture, with Seaver Unlimited. Jonathan was giving them a bail out, in return for a significant amount of stock.

She refilled his cocktail, and then sat on the couch again.

"Darling, did you get the mail today?"

"No, did you?"

"Nope. Guess I will walk down to the mailbox and get it".

"I'll walk with you, darling".

They linked arms and walked to the mailbox, grabbed the mail and headed back to the house.

They came inside and Jonathan headed to change clothes, while Jennifer opened the mail at the table by the steps.

Jonathan was on his way back down the stairs when he saw the look on her face.

"Darling, what is it?"

"This letter….says that the minister who married us, died a couple weeks ago".

"Oh, that's sad".

"Yeah, but that's not it. Darling…they discovered that he wasn't a real minister. So that means that you and I aren't really married".

"What? That's preposterous!"

He took the letter from her and read it for himself.

He walked over to the phone and began to make a phone call.

"I am calling the church that sent this letter. Maybe they can shed some light on what is really going on".

She took him his cocktail. He took it from her, took a sip, and set it down. He wrapped his arm around her and tried to comfort her. She still looked so crestfallen.

After talking with the minister, he hung up and turned to face Jennifer.

"They confirmed that he wasn't a real minister. They think he made up the persona and the documents to avoid the draft. And they regret not discovering it sooner. He offered to marry us for free if we want to stay together".

"If?"

"His words, darling. Not mine".

She nodded.

"I am going to go get dinner started".

She headed to the kitchen.

He followed her a few minutes later.

She was busy making grilled chicken on the indoor grill, and a chopped salad to go with it.

She was quiet, and he could see she was unhappy.

He went over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"We are going to fix this. This doesn't change the way I feel about you, darling. Nothing ever could".

"I feel like I have been living a lie".

"Darling, he didn't do it to you. He did it to us".

"I know that."

"And this isn't your fault, it's mine. I picked him, I should have had him checked out".

"Jonathan, I am not blaming you".

"I know that".

"Then tell me what you are thinking".

"I am thinking that I was raised better than to shack up with someone who I'm not married to. I am thinking that my father would be so disappointed in me. I am thinking that I wish I had never known he wasn't a real priest".

"Jennifer, we aren't doing anything wrong. We haven't done anything wrong. And we haven't been shacking up, we were in love and we thought we were married. I think your father would understand this".

She nodded.

"Guess we'll never know".

He helped her finish making dinner and they ate out on the patio, and then he helped her do the dishes.

Later that night, they were upstairs changing into their pajamas.

He could see that she was anxious.

"Jonathan-"

"Yes, you can still sleep in my bed, but only if you can control yourself".

"Jonathan! That's not funny".

She turned to go away from him.

He pulled her back to him.  
"I was kidding".

He started kissing her neck.

"If you sleep anywhere else, I will have to follow you because I cannot sleep without you".

They climbed into bed together.

She was so exhausted and was yawning. He knew she wouldn't be awake much longer.

As she drifted off to sleep, she was talking to him.

"Darling, see if you can call and figure out what we can do about this tomorrow ok? I really think we need to…."

He kissed her softly and wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep.

***The next morning***

Jonathan woke Jennifer up when his alarm went off.

"Good morning, darling".

She rolled over and kissed him.

"Morning".

She snuggled down into his chest.

"Darling, what do you have planned for today?"

"I am working on an article. That will probably take up most of the day. What about you?"  
"I have meetings this morning, and a conference call this afternoon. And then tonight, I am taking you on a date".

"A date? Just the two of us?"

"Yep. Just the two of us."

She sat up on one elbow.

"No distractions? No interruptions?"

"None whatsoever".

"What time should I be ready?"

"5:30. And wear something formal".

"You got it".

She kissed him nice and slow.

"Now, we need to decide what we are going to do about this minister thing".

"No, today, we are just going to be Jonathan and Jennifer. Tomorrow, we will figure out the minister thing".

"Deal".

He kissed her and then got up and got ready. She went and made them breakfast and met him downstairs.

After a nice breakfast, she kissed him goodbye.

"See you at 5:30, darling".

"I can't wait".

She cleaned up the kitchen and then went to work on her article.

She was trying to write an article on some nuns who had spent their whole lives working at an orphanage in Downtown Los Angeles. One of the nuns had been dropped off at the orphanage as an infant, raised there without ever being adopted, and went and joined the sisterhood as soon as she turned 18. This orphanage had been her second placement, and she had been there almost 50 years.

Jennifer was trying to write a nice article about all the service Sister Patricia had done, but she couldn't focus.

She went and got the letter from the minister, and she started researching him.

He had called himself Father O'Malley. According to the letter, the church knew him as Father Collin O'Malley, however they discovered upon his death that he was actually Tyler Jacob Robinson. While they did discover that Tyler Robinson had gone to USC, and majored in business, Father O'Malley had been created shortly after graduation. There seemed to be a time gap of about 6 years. He had told everyone he had gone to seminary during those 6 years, but he really had not.

Jennifer called the church and spoke to the head priest, whose name was on the letter.

She asked several questions, and then got down to the nitty gritty.

"Father, how was this discovered?"

"We have an agency that we have to report to when a priest dies, and there is a particular protocol that must be followed in order for us to replace that priest at the church. And I went to report him, and they didn't have him in the system. Turned out, he had never registered with them, and they had no idea that he was even here."

"That's very interesting. So, as one of the couples that was married by him, is there anything my husband and I can do to preserve our marriage without having to completely get married again and start over?"

"I'm sorry, but in the eyes of the church, there is not. He was never legally or formally ordained, so that means your marriage in the eyes of the church never took place".

"I see. Well, thank you for your time".

"Very well. Peace be with you".

"Thank you, Father".

She hung up.

She continued to research him. She found a birth certificate for him, and his parents' names. She looked them up, and found death certificates for them. She found a legal document that stated he was going to be sent to the Sisters of Angels Orphanage, in San Jose.

She found a few more documents about him, and printed them off.

She glanced up and saw that it was almost 2.

She decided to take a break and went to get ready for her date with Jonathan.

She took a long bubble bath, and used the relax and destress bath salts. She tried to put the whole Tyler Robinson thing out of her mind, and just focus on her evening with Jonathan.

After her bath, she rinsed off and then put her robe on, and went to pick out her evening gown. She decided to call Jonathan and see if he would give her another hint.

She picked up the phone and called his office.

"Hello Kelly. Can I have Jonathan please?"

"Right away, Mrs. Hart".

Hearing people refer to her as Mrs. Hart was bittersweet.

Jonathan picked up a few seconds later.

"Hi darling".

"Hi. Listen, I know you said to wear something formal, but I need more specifics. Long dress, short dress? Will you be in a suit or a tux?"

"What does it matter what I am wearing?"

"Well, because…if you are in a tux, then I can be more formal. But if you are in a suit then I can be less formal".

"Less formal? Jennifer, you are either formal or you aren't. Just pick something, ok? You are gorgeous in everything you wear, you know that".

"Jonathan, what is going on? You don't sound like yourself".

"I am too busy to deal with your wardrobe problems, I have to go. I will see you later".

He hung up. She was stunned. He had promised her that nothing was going to change them, not even this. But, not even 24 hours later and he's snapping at her and being all rude.

She decided to not put too much thought into what she was wearing. She picked a bright pink strapless dress, and paired it with black, strappy heels. She took off her wedding rings, and put on the ring he gave her for her birthday, right after he had proposed the first time. She was ready by 5, and made herself a caprese salad to snack on. She had made herself a cocktail and was standing by the bar when he got home.

She went to him as he came in the door.

"Hi".

He gave her the tiniest peck of a kiss.

"You ready? We have reservations at 6".

"Yes, I'm ready".

He opened the door to the house and she stepped through.

She turned to him as he was locking the house.

"What car are we taking tonight?"

"The Bentley".

She started to walk over to it. Jonathan walked past her, went to his side, and got in the car. For the first time since she had known him, he hadn't opened her door for her.

She opened her own door, and got in.

He took off before she had put her seatbelt on.

She couldn't figure out what was going on with him, but something was.

He wasn't acting like himself. He was distracted and not being kind towards her.

They had a very quiet ride to the restaurant. When they were about ½ way there, his car phone rang. He answered it, and talked on the phone the rest of the way there. So much for no distractions or interruptions.

They pulled up to La Scala, and parked. He hung up the phone and then they got out and headed inside.

They were walking in, and he let the door slam in Jennifer's face. Now, she was furious.

They were seated right away, and the waiter took their drink order.

She was still hurt, so she was being very quiet. She was just waiting for him to start acting like himself again.

As soon as they had placed their orders, a waiter appeared.

"Mr. Hart?"

"Yes, that's me".

"You have a phone call, sir". The waiter handed him the phone.

Jonathan proceeded to take the phone call, right there at the table. Their food came and he was still talking. Jennifer ate her entire plate, and he was still talking. Finally, she had enough. She reached over and got his keys from his jacket pocket. He didn't even notice. She grabbed her purse, and his keys and went out to the car. She tried to get the car started but couldn't.

So, instead, she left a note in the Bentley for Jonathan, and then she flagged down a cab, and took that back to the house, leaving Jonathan at the restaurant.

About 45 minutes after she got home, Jonathan came outside. He got in the Bentley and saw her note. The keys were in the ignition. The note said"

"Car wouldn't start. Perhaps when you are done with your phone call you can try and fix it? I am going home-J".

He balled it up, threw it on the floor and tried to start the car. He had to pump the gas a few times, but he eventually got it started.

As soon as it roared to life, he drove straight to Willow Pond.


	2. Chapter 2

***Willow Pond***

Jennifer had come inside, changed into her pajamas and was fast asleep in bed by the time he got home. He sat downstairs for a long time, and then finally went to bed. She was all the way over on her side of the bed, and he was mad that she had left him at the restaurant, so he didn't bother touching her at all.

She woke up around 3, and saw that he was in the bed next to her.

She suddenly wanted him to hold her, so she scooted closer to him and tried to snuggle with him.

He woke up, and removed his arms from around her where she had placed them. He rolled over and slept the rest of the night with his back towards her.

She quietly slipped out of bed and went downstairs.

He found her in the study around 7.

"What are you doing in here?"

"I couldn't sleep so I came in here to work".

"Oh. Well, I am headed to the office".

"Want me to make you some breakfast?"

"It's too late for that".

She got up to go get some more coffee.

"Well, have a good day".

She kissed his cheek and went to the kitchen as he left for the office.

By the time she got to the kitchen, she had burst into tears.

She worked till about 12, and then went upstairs and took a nap.

She woke up around 4, took a shower and put on fresh pajamas.

She was sitting on the couch reading when Jonathan got home.

She had ordered them a pizza for dinner.

He came and sat by her on the couch.

"Would you like to talk about why you left the restaurant without me?"

"Sure. Why don't we start with what you did, the entire time we were at the restaurant? Or would you rather talk about how you snapped at me and were rude when I called you before you got home? Take your pick".

"Me being on the phone still doesn't explain why you left me at the restaurant. And I was busy at work and didn't have time for silly issues".

"I think it explains it fully. You promised that we would have a night without any interruptions or distractions, and instead you barely said 2 words to me. In fact, the entire time we were at the restaurant, you didn't speak to me at all. And you always had time for me before this happened, regardless of the issue".

He was quiet for a few minutes.

Finally he spoke again.

"It was business".

"It always is".

"Jennifer, look around. Do you think we would have all of this if I wasn't good at business? If I didn't conduct business?

"That's not the point. The point is that you promised. And you broke your promise".

"Promises get broken, Jennifer. It's a fact of life. You can't live in a fairytale forever".

He got up and went out to the patio.

Just then, the doorbell rang. She paid for the pizza and took it to the kitchen.

She made herself a plate, and ate by herself in the den, with the TV on.

When she was done, she put her plate in the dishwasher and went to the study and kept working on her article.

She worked till about 9, and then went upstairs and headed to bed.

She read in bed for a bit, and then fell asleep. Jonathan was still downstairs.

***The next morning***

He didn't wake her up when he left for the office, and she didn't even have any idea if he had ever come to bed.

She was tired of fighting with him, and wanted to be able to get them back on track, but she couldn't do it all by herself.

She got up and had breakfast and then went to the study and continued researching her article.

She dug out Jonathan's USC yearbook, and looked up Tyler Robinson on a hunch.

She found that he was about a year older than Jonathan. She found him in several places in the yearbook. He was on the tennis team, he was in several candids, and he was also on the Fraternity Council.

Jennifer kept looking up his pictures based on where the index said he was in the yearbook, and found him on the last page.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

He was one of Jonathan's fraternity brothers.

She couldn't believe Jonathan hadn't told her that before.

She started reading the notes that people had written in his yearbook to him. On the back cover, she found where Tyler had written a note to Jonathan.

"Jonathan-Way to go on being voted Frat President. You will be a good one, brother. See you in the Navy when you graduate.-Tyler".

Jennifer went and dug out Jonathan's navy pictures and found his squadbook.

There in the front, was Tyler's picture. Tucked in the back, in between a couple pages, was a handwritten note. It was to Jonathan, from Tyler. It had a return address of a Navy Base in Texas. She opened the letter.

"Jonathan-heard through the grapevine that you were getting married. I am so happy for you and I hope you will allow me to perform your wedding ceremony. I have been discharged from the Navy, and I am now trying my hand at the priesthood. I need to establish myself as a legit priest, and performing a wedding is the best way for me to establish myself. Please keep me in mind-I would really appreciate it-Tyler".

Jennifer was stunned.

Jonathan knew that he wasn't a real priest and he let him perform their marriage ceremony anyways.

She was so hurt and devastated. All these years, all this time. He had told her that she was his only real and true priority. However, he couldn't bring himself to tell her that they weren't legally married. He didn't love her enough to make sure that they were legally married. If he had just told her, they could have gone to the courthouse. They could have fixed it. But it was too late for that now.

She gathered her research and laid it all out on the piano, and wrote him a note. Then, she went upstairs and packed her things. She loaded up the car with her bags when she was finished. She went over to the piano one last time, and left her wedding rings on the note.

She took one last look around, and then headed out the door.

Her first stop was the bank. She and Jonathan had 6 bank accounts, she took the money out of three of them. She left exactly $100 in each of those accounts.

She then went to the beach house. She unloaded the car, and then she made a few phone calls.

By dinner time, the locks had been changed on the beach house, and she had a meeting with a lawyer for the next day. They weren't legally married, but they still needed to divide property and possessions.

Jonathan got home around 5, and made himself a cocktail. He saw all the papers on the piano, so he went over there to see what they were and read her note.

"Jonathan-

I cannot believe you lied to me all of these years. You knew that he wasn't a real priest, which meant that you knew that our marriage wasn't legal. And now, 20 years later, the truth comes out. All you had to do was to be honest. We had a good life together and I hope that you have a good life without me, and I without you. This isn't about loving, or not loving, it's about trust. I simply cannot and will not live with someone that I don't trust. I hope that we can end things peacefully and find a way to be friends. Guess our "fairytale" is officially over-J".

He walked over to the bar, poured himself a stiff drink, and drank it all in one gulp.

He had lost her. And this time was different from the others. He could feel that. This time he knew that she wasn't coming back. He got up and poured himself another drink.


	3. Chapter 3

***A year later***

Jennifer and Jonathan had gone their separate ways, and they were both in radically different planes in their life now. Gone was Jennifer's glamourous wardrobe and diamonds for every birthday and anniversary. Gone was Jonathan bending over backwards for anyone else. With her gone and Max gone, he had become a bitter, angry, closed off person. He drank every single night and he hardly talked to anyone or did anything that he used to enjoy, like play poker or tennis.

Jennifer was different too, aside from material things. She was more closed off. More than once, she had been asked out. Every time she had turned them down, afraid that it would end with her getting her heart broken like before. That was until, she met Jeff Collins. He was handsome, debonair, charming, and polite. He put her first always, and he was honest to a fault. They had met at a concert, both of them liking the artist so much that they bought single tickets and just so happened to sit next to each other. He asked her for coffee afterwards, and she accepted, and they were inseparable ever since. She tried to fight it, but couldn't. He had awakened things in her that she thought had died with her relationship with Jonathan.

Jonathan had given her the beach house, 3 bank accounts, her Porsche and their art collection. He had kept everything else. She retained her spot on the board at Hart Industries, and he promised her that she could use the private jet whenever she wanted. However, every time she wanted, he stopped asking.

Jeff was accomplished too. He owned a development company, and had done very well for himself. He had never married, and didn't have any children. His parents had passed away years ago, so he had no family left, save for his adopted brother, his best friend Chris who treated him more like family than a friend.

Jennifer had wanted to take things slowly, but Jeff dove all in. He was head over heels for her the minute he saw her.

He wined and dined her, brought her flowers every day, took her to fancy restaurants, did everything right. Her favorite nights with him were ones they spent at the beach house, or at his condo, and just vegged out and watched TV and had dinner. He liked to impress her, but it wasn't necessary. Sure, he took her to fancy dinner parties, and to the opera, but he didn't have to. All she needed was his company and a quiet night in.

She heard through the grapevine that Jonathan was drinking heavily. She wanted to help him, but they had separate lives now. If he wanted her help, he could come ask for it. She knew he wouldn't though, he was too prideful for that.

She was at the beach house, waiting on Jeff to come pick her up. They were going to dinner. She had a birthday in a few days, and he was going to be out of town, so they were celebrating early. All he had told her was that she would need to dress up.

She went up to the third floor and selected a dress. She still had all the evening gowns she had owned when she lived with Jonathan. She hadn't worn them since they split up, though. Nor had she worn most of her jewelry. She dressed more simply now, but still classy and elegant.

She selected a black one shoulder gown, and some strappy black heels. She straightened her hair and did her makeup flawlessly, like she always did. She went to grab her perfume, Ralph Lauren Romance, and saw that she was all out. She opened the cabinet and rummaged for another bottle. At the very far back, she found a ½ empty bottle of Orchid perfume. The same perfume that she always wore when she was with Jonathan. He always loved it on her.

She sprayed some on, and went downstairs to wait for Jeff.

He arrived right on time. He had brought her a bouquet of her favorite flowers-roses, bells of Ireland, tulips, stargazer lilies.

"Hi Angel." He swept her into his arms and gave her the most passionate of kisses.

"Here. For you".

"Thanks, honey. They are gorgeous". She went and put them in water.

They left then, and headed to the restaurant. He was taking her to a seafood restaurant down on the beach, that overlooked the water. They had a nice little secluded table for two. It was private and cozy and lovely.

Jeff ordered them some champagne and two glasses, and he ordered an appetizer for them to share.

He moved his chair so that he was sitting next to her instead of across from her.

He grabbed her hands and kissed the back of her hand.

"Honey, do you realize that 8 months ago today, we had our first date? And the best first kiss I ever had with someone?"

"Really? 8 months today? Time sure does fly".

"These past 8 months have been the best of my life. You are the classiest, most elegant, most sophisticated, devastatingly gorgeous woman I have ever known. And I can't imagine a day without you. Jennifer Edwards, will you marry me?"

She was stunned. He pulled out a ring from his pocket and put it on her finger. It was a 4 carat square diamond in halo setting, with 2 carats of pave diamonds on either side, all set in platinum. It was absolutely gorgeous.

"Yes, Jeff. I will marry you".

He leaned forward and kissed her, and then they were serenaded by a violinist.

They enjoyed a lovely dinner and then took a walk along the beach.

After their long walk, they headed back to the car, and back to the beach house.

"Do you want to stay the night?"

"I would Angel, but I have an early flight in the morning, and I am still not packed."

"Ok. Maybe when you get back".

"Definitely when I get back".

He held open the door for her, and she got in the car.

They pulled up to the beach house, and he parked in the driveway.

He was walking her up the walkway to the door.

"Goodnight, Angel. I love you".

"I love you, too". They shared a long kiss.

Just as she turned to unlock the door, she looked over and saw him.

"Jonathan! What are you doing here?"

"I came to wish you a happy birthday and give you this". He held out a gift for her.

"Thank you, but you didn't have to do that".

"I know. I wanted to."

She turned to Jeff.

"Call me before you go to bed tonight, honey?"

He nodded. He kissed her with enough passion to make her head spin. He meant it, but he was also making a point.

"Bye Angel."

"Bye honey".

She opened the door and Jonathan followed her inside.

"Coffee?"

"No thanks".

She turned on the lights in the kitchen, and then set her purse down and kicked off her shoes.

He handed her gift to her, and she opened it. It was a beautiful silver bangle bracelet. It had a heart etched in it, in the center.

"Thank you, it's lovely".

"Not as lovely as the one who will be wearing it".

She smiled at him.

He noticed her ring then, and grew uncomfortable.

"I better go". She saw him looking at it, and covered it with her hand.

"You don't have to".

"No, I do. We have moved on, remember?"

He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Have a wonderful birthday".

She gave him a quick hug, and then walked him to the door.

She watched him walk out the door and towards his car.

"Jonathan!", she cried out.

He turned.

"It was so great to see you".

"You too".

He walked away and headed to his car, as she shut the door behind him.

She turned and leaned against it.

"I miss you so much", she whispered. She let the tears fall as she sank down to the floor.

***A few days later***

Jeff was returning tonight, and Jennifer was excited. She hadn't seen nor heard from Jonathan since the other night. She and Jeff were going to do dinner at her house, just the two of them. Quiet, low key.

She had bought a new nightgown that she knew he would love, and some special candles for the bedroom.

She had made his favorite- pork tenderloin with mustard sauce, and sautéed veggies, with brown rice. She had a bottle of his favorite wine chilling. All she needed was him.

If she was being honest with herself, she may not have seen Jonathan since the other night, but she had thought about him non-stop. Yes, she loved Jeff. Yes, she was in love with Jeff. But Jonathan would always be her first true love. Nobody else would ever compare, or even come close. What she and Jeff had was real. Different, but real.

She heard him knock on the door, and she went to open it.

She flew into his arms and kissed him several times.

"Miss me, Angel?"

"Tremendously".

"I missed you too".

She went and poured him a cocktail, and handed it to him.

"Dinner will be ready in about 20 minutes".

They went and sat on the couch. She curled up next to him, and kissed him again.

"So, how was your actual birthday? What did you do?"

"Well, let's see. I woke up to a wonderful phone call from you, and then I laid around on the deck some, and took a long walk on the beach, and then took myself to La Scala, and then came home and put myself to bed".

"That's it? You didn't see any of your girlfriends?"

"I don't really have a lot of girlfriends anymore. Most of them were friends with me and Jonathan, and since we split, they haven't really stayed in contact".

"I see".

"Honey, we should probably figure out what kind of wedding we want, and set a date for it".

"You plan the whole thing, and I will pay for all of it. Whatever you want, the sky is the limit".

"That isn't necessary. I don't want to plan it all by myself, I want you to be happy with it too, and have input too".

"Angel, as long as I am with you, I will be happy".

She kissed him and got up and grabbed a legal pad and made a list.

"Inside or outside?"

"Inside".

"Formal or not formal?"

"Semi-formal".

"Day time, or night time?"

"Afternoon".

"Suits or tuxes?"

"Suits".

She turned to look at him.

"Do you have anyone you would want to stand up with you?"

"Chris. And maybe some of the guys from the office, like Doug, and my tennis partner, Wyatt".

"Well, tell me how many people you would want on your side, and I will choose who I want on my side".

"I think I want just those three".

"Ok, well then I will have Stacy Griffin as my Matron of Honor. And Susan Kendall, if she will do it, as a bridesmaid. And I guess we can use Chris' wife Mallory as a bridesmaid also."

He nodded.

"How soon do you want to do this?"

"Sooner the better."

They got out a calendar and started looking at dates.

"I will need realistically, at least 8 weeks to get everything together".

"In 8 weeks, I will be in China for a week."

"Ok, so that leaves us with Sept. 14".

"Sept. 14 is the day I get back from China. How about the 26th?"

"NOT the 26th."

"Why not? That sure was a strong response".

"Monkey".

Monkey was what she said when she didn't want to talk about it. He had learned that usually meant that it had to do with Jonathan.

"How about October 20th? That takes us to 14 weeks, but I can wait that long if you can".

"That's perfect".

He leaned over and kissed her.

The timer went off on the oven, and she kissed him one final time and then got up and got it out of the oven.

She had it all on the table and he came over and joined her.

"This is amazing, angel".

"Thank you, honey".

He practically devoured the pork tenderloin, and then helped her clean up the kitchen.

After they were done, he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her.

"God I missed you".

He kissed her long and slow, and then gazed into her eyes.

"Time for some dessert". He started to kiss her neck.

She was flashing back to when Jonathan used to say that to her.

He snapped her back to reality.

He picked her up and carried her upstairs.

"Honey, you are going to hurt your back, you don't have to carry me".

"Angel, I am fine, I promise".

He took her to the third floor and laid her on the bed.

They shared some romantic kisses, and then she got up.

"I'll be right back".

She went to her closet and put on the new nightgown and then came back to the bed. He was naked and under the covers, waiting on her.

She went to him and he pulled her on top of him.

"The hotel was so lonely without you".

"I should have gone with you".

"Next time, you will".

She kissed him and he rolled her onto her back.

They made love and then he fell asleep, with his arms wrapped around her. She had tried hard to enjoy it, and she hoped that he thought she had. But in reality, the only reason she had been able to physically enjoy making love with him was because in her head, she was thinking of Jonathan.

Her heart was devastated. What she was doing wasn't fair to Jeff. But staying with him out of loyalty wasn't fair to her either. She had no reason to think that she and Jonathan would ever be more than casual acquaintances ever again, but that was no reason to string Jeff along. She simply could not marry him, not with Jonathan still on her heart and in her mind.

She just had to figure out a way to tell him, without breaking his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

***A week later***

Jennifer and Jeff had set the wedding date, but they hadn't booked anything. He was letting her do all the planning. She wasn't planning anything, other than how to tell Jeff she couldn't marry him.

She had tried so many times, but every single time, he distracted her and then told her how much he loved her, and she just couldn't do it.

She and Jeff were supposed to go to a dinner party that night. He was picking her up at 6. She had purchased a new blue and gray bandage dress. It looked amazing on her.

He arrived at 5:45.

"Hi Angel. You look amazing".

He picked her up and spun her around, before he kissed her.

"You are going to be the prettiest one at the party tonight".

"You are too sweet to me. I don't deserve you".

"It is I who doesn't deserve you".

They got in the car and headed to the party.

As soon as they arrived, they found a seat, and he went and got her a glass of white wine.

They mingled a little bit and then went and got food.

They sat down at their place, and ate, while the host made some announcements.

"Tonight, we are having a dance auction. Men, you have to pay to get a dance with the lady that you pick. The women will come up here one by one, and the men will bid on dancing with each of them. All of the money will go to our charity, Angels of Mercy Orphanage in San Diego".

Jennifer was excited.

She hadn't danced with anyone in ages. Jeff wasn't much of a dancer.

"Honey, are you going to bid on me?"

"Probably not".

"Oh come on, just one dance? It's for a good cause".

"Ok, maybe one".

He kissed her.

She went and got in line, and got her number.

She was 12th, the last woman to be auctioned off.

Most of the women were bid on by their husbands, which made it easy. But there were some single men who were bidding on the other ladies too.

Jennifer stepped up, and the bidding began. Jeff bid 100 dollars to start. A couple other husbands upped the bid, but Jeff kept topping it.

He got up to $900. Jennifer was flattered and blew him a kiss.

"Ok, we have 900 dollars going once, going twice-"

Jonathan stepped out from the shadows.

"Twenty-five thousand dollars".

"Jonathan! You don't have to do this.."

"I want to. $25,000".

Jeff put his paddle down and nodded to Jennifer that it was ok.

"$25,000 going once, going twice, sold, to Mr. Jonathan Hart".

You could have heard a pin drop in the room.

"Ok ladies and gentlemen, Jennifer was our last lady to be auctioned. So, let the dancing begin. You each get 4 dances with the lady you chose, all at once or throughout the evening. In about an hour, we will have round 2".

The music began to play and Jennifer left the stage and went to Jeff's side.

"Are you sure you are ok with this?"

"I'm sure. Have a good time". He kissed her.

Jonathan came up and held out his hand.

"May I have this dance?"

She nodded and took his hand, and he led her to the dance floor.

They started to dance.

"You know, you didn't have to spend so much on me".

"I wanted to. You deserve it, and it's for a good cause".

"It is".

"You look gorgeous, tonight".

"Thank you".

"So, you and Jeff, huh?"

"That's right. Me and Jeff".

"Tell me something, are you happy?"

She hesitated for a minute. "Yes, I am".

 _I was happier with you…_

"You deserve the best, you know".

"So do you".

"I had it, and I let it get away. I hope that never happens to you".

"It already did". She choked back tears.

"If I could take it all back…"

"I know. But we can't".

"We could start again".

"Jonathan, don't do this. I am engaged to Jeff. I am happy. You said so yourself that I deserved the best."

"And you do. I just don't think he is the man to give it to you".

"I didn't either. But the fact of the matter is, he's here and you aren't."

"I deserved that".

"I didn't mean to be ugly, but it's true. He has never once lied to me, about anything. He treats me like a queen. He tells me he loves me every day".

"I told you I loved you every day. I treated you like a Queen".

"Yes, you did. But you also lied about the fact that we weren't legally married, for 20 years. 20 years, Jonathan. And you never explained why".

He didn't want to argue, and he didn't want to get into the why now.

"Have you set a date yet?"

"October 20th".

"Max's birthday".

"What?"

"Max's birthday was October 20th."

She didn't say anything. She knew if Max was still here, he would have talked some sense into Jonathan and things wouldn't have gotten this far.

She looked at him.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"Nope. I have been on a few dates, but they never make it to dessert".

"Why not? You are still as charming as you always were".

"They aren't you".

Jennifer and Jonathan finished their dances, and then she and Jeff decided to do the second round. This time she was first, and this time Jeff won her. He didn't pay as much for her as Jonathan had, but he still won her.

The dance they shared was more upbeat and he was spinning her and dipping her and she was smiling the whole time.

Jonathan was watching from across the room. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

Jennifer had decided that she wasn't going to be able to marry Jeff. But her conversation with Jonathan had stirred something in her, and she was determined that she would get over Jonathan by marrying Jeff.

After their dance, she and Jeff left and headed back to the beach house.

"What a fun evening".

"Yes it was, wasn't it?"

"You are an excellent dancer, Mr. Collins. You should dance with me more often".

"Maybe I will". He leaned over and kissed her.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"I have a few meetings at work, and then I have a dentist's appointment. I am going to be laid up for a few days. They are doing extensive work on my jaw".

"Oh, baby. You should come stay with me and I will take care of you".

"I think I just might".

They got back to the beach house and he came in with her.

"Wanna stay tonight, honey?"

"I can't. I have to be up early in the morning. But, if you meet me at my dentist's office tomorrow at 3, I will be all yours for the next three days".

She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It's a deal".

She kissed him.

"Thank you so much for a lovely evening".

"Any time spent with you is lovely, Angel".

He kissed her and then left.

She locked the door behind him and headed upstairs to bed.

Meanwhile, across town, Jonathan arrived home at Willow Pond, and promptly poured himself several nice, stiff drinks.

He looked at her picture that he had kept.

"I miss you so much, Red".

He downed another scotch as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

***Two weeks later***

Jonathan left work and headed to Willow Pond. He cracked open a brand new bottle of scotch and poured himself a drink. He downed it, and then poured another. This had become his nightly routine.

He had been on a few dates in the past two weeks, with a girl named Jennifer. She had red hair, from a bottle, no less. She had green eyes, that were really green contacts. He had thought that he could trick his heart into feeling the same things for her that he had felt for Red. But it didn't work.

This Jennifer, however, was not going to just fade into the sunset. She was into him something fierce. She preferred to go by Jenny, but he insisted on calling her Jennifer. His Jennifer hated being called Jenny.

He was pretty sozzled. He was sitting on the couch, staring at Jennifer's picture, remembering all the times he had held her and wishing he hadn't taken it for granted.

The phone rang. He reached over and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Jonathan, it's Jenny. I need help. I have a flat tire. Can you come get me, please?"

"Sure, anything to see you".

He hung the phone up without finding out where she was, grabbed his keys and headed to the car. He still had Jennifer's picture in his hand.

He drove towards the beach house. He was in no condition to drive, as he was swerving all over the road. He had to get to Jennifer.

"I'm coming darling", he yelled out, as he crossed the center line. He hit the truck head on, and flipped 3 times.

The driver of the truck managed to get out and was ok, just banged up a little. He went and checked on Jonathan. He was pinned under the steering wheel, and had a gash on his head. He was moaning, but he wasn't talking.

The driver of the truck flagged down someone to call for help.

Within minutes, an ambulance and police had arrived.

***Beach house***

It was just after midnight. Jennifer was asleep. The phone rang and woke her up.

She sleepily answered it.

"Hello?"

"This is Cedars Sinai. We are calling to let you know that Jonathan Hart was brought in, and is being treated."

"Why are you calling me?"

"The last time he was here, you were listed as his emergency contact. I tried to call a Max Brennan, but there was no answer".

"It's alright. Is he ok?"  
"He is badly injured, ma'am. They are assessing him right now".

"Ok thank you. I am on my way".

She hung up the phone.

She hurried and got ready, and then headed to Cedars.

He just had to be ok.


	5. Chapter 5

***Cedars Sinai***

Jennifer walked in and asked for Jonathan's room. She was sent to his cubicle in the ER.

He wasn't awake, but he was breathing.

She went to him and held his hand.

She leaned down and whispered in his ear "Hey sailor, I'm here".

No reaction.

She sat down in the chair next to his bed.

He was all cut up and bruised and broken. Her heart ached for him.

The nurse came in, and checked his vitals.

"Hi, can you tell me how he is?"

"Are you family?"

"No, but I am all he has. I am his emergency contact".

"He has a couple broken ribs- they are just hairline fractures, so he should heal ok on those on his own. He has a broken collarbone, and lung contusions. The contusions will heal on their own as well. We set his collarbone while he was sleeping, so he should begin to feel better from that. He was very fortunate. He will feel very sore for the next several days, and will have to take it easy."

She nodded.

"When do you think he will wake up?"

"Could be any time now. He wasn't given anything to make him sleep".

She started to hook up an IV.

"What is that?"

"Saline. We need to flush his kidneys and make sure that he hasn't lost kidney functioning".

She nodded.

The nurse left, and Jennifer stared at Jonathan again. She suspected that he had been drinking. She was secretly glad that he had been given the saline, as that would push the alcohol out of his system.

"Oh Jonathan….how on Earth did we end up here? So far away from each other, so far from where we were. Why are we doing this to each other?"

She choked back the tears, and held his hand as she fell asleep in the chair beside his bed.

She slept all night, till the nurse came in again at 6.

She was woken up by the nurse velcroing the blood pressure cuff on Jonathan.

"How is he?"

"He's coming around. No real changes".

She nodded.

"He isn't going to feel well, so as soon as he wakes up, hit the button and I will get him some Tylenol".

"Are there any wash cloths here? Usually when he has a headache, he likes a warm wash cloth on the back of his neck"

"I will get you some".

"Thank you".

She was still holding his hand while she sat next to him.

He started moaning.

"It's alright, Jonathan. It's alright".

He slowly opened his eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"The hospital called me. I am still your emergency contact".

"What happened?"

"You had an accident. Don't try to move, you have a couple broken ribs, a broken collarbone. You are going to have to rest and take it easy for several weeks".

"I'm sorry".

"You don't owe me any apologies".

"Yes I do".

She didn't push it.

The nurse came in. "The ambulance crew left this for you. It's your personal effects from the car".

"Were the police here?"

"Yes, but they didn't have any questions. They left a copy of the report".

She handed them everything and then left. Jennifer took it all.

"Jonathan, when did you buy a Corvette?"

"A few months ago".

She looked at him incredulously.

"You hate American cars".

"Only because you did".

She smirked at him.

"Well, you totaled it. Thankfully you had the top up, or you would have been totaled yourself".

He didn't say anything.

"Jonathan, why did you have my picture in the car?"  
It was all coming back to him.

"I don't want to talk about it".

"You were very lucky".

He nodded.

"Or unlucky, depending on how you look at it".

"I don't believe that was your intention".

"Why not?"

"The Jonathan Hart that I knew would have never done that".

"The Jonathan Hart that you knew never thought he would have ever lost you".

She glanced at her watch.

"I am going to go home and shower and change. Can I get you anything?"

"Not that I can think of".

"Ok, I will be back in a couple of hours. Try and rest, ok?"

He nodded.

She gathered her things, and headed to the door.

"Jennifer?"

She turned around.

"Yes?"

"I am so glad you came".

She nodded, and then left.

***Beach house***

She pulled up to the beach house and parked. Just as she was getting out, Jeff pulled up.

She went to his side of the car.

"Morning honey".

"Morning, yourself. I was so worried about you when you didn't answer".

"I'm sorry. I got a phone call last night that Jonathan had been in a car accident. I am still his emergency contact. He's going to be ok, but he's pretty banged up. I came home to shower and change clothes".

"How long are you going to be with him?"

"Till they release him. His car was totaled, and he has no way to get home. After he gets home, I don't know what will happen, if he will be ok without someone or not".

"Well, call me when you get settled. I love you".

"I love you, too".

She kissed him.

"Thank you for understanding".

He nodded.

He came inside with her, and sat in the bathroom while she showered.

After she was changed, she started packing a bag.

"What are you packing for?"

"In case I have to stay at his house".

"Stay at his house? Jennifer, come on. I know you two are still friendly, but he is your ex, and you have to draw the line somewhere".

"Jeff, I am all he has left. Max is gone. He doesn't have housekeeping or anyone there with him. It's just me. The least I can do…"

"The least you can do is remember that you are engaged to me, and that you moved on from him".

"I am. I did. But I can't just abandon him. It's not like he's trying to get me into bed, he had an accident for Christ's sake".

"What if it was me?"

"What if what was you?"

"What if it had been me in the accident?"

"I would nurse you back to health, and care for you".

"Even if we had broken up?"

"I can't answer that. You and I haven't ever broken up".

He went to her and wrapped his arms around her.  
"I just don't want you to forget that you are mine, and I don't want him to get the wrong idea".

"Jeff, I am not a piece of property".

"I didn't mean it like that. But you are my fiancé now. He is in your past, right?"

"He will always have a place in my heart, Jeff. I was with him for a very long time".

"As long as I have a bigger piece, that's all I ask".

She hugged him. She didn't like the feeling she had in the pit of her stomach.

She walked out with him and he opened the car door for her.

"Bye honey, I love you. I will call you later".

"I love you, Angel. I adore you".

She kissed him and then got in the car.

She sat there in the driver's seat, waiting for him to back out.

How did he always know to say things like Jonathan had? Why did they cut her to the core every time he did?

***Cedars Sinai***

She stopped and picked up breakfast for the both of them. She got Jonathan his favorite omelet, and an omelet and coconut sweet tea for herself. She got him some fresh coffee, coconut oil and milk on the side.

She walked into his hospital room and found him trying to sit up.

"What are you doing? Hang on, I'm coming".

She set down everything, and then went to help him.

He let her shove a pillow behind his back, and then leaned against it.

"Better?"

He nodded.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"I got you breakfast. You hungry?"

"Starved".

She pulled the tray over to him, and then got his breakfast all set up. She made his coffee in front of him, just the way he liked it.

He took a sip and moaned with delight.

"I have never been able to make it the way you do".

"That's because you don't know the secret recipe".

She sat down next to him and ate her own breakfast.

"Has the doctor been in?"

"No, not yet".

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"What you were doing before the accident, and why you had my picture in the car with you".

"I miss you. I miss us being together. I wish I could take it all back. I was home, I was looking at your picture and I was upset. I have gone on a few dates with a girl that looks like you, and has the same name as you. And when she called and told me she had a flat tire, I thought it was you. I was heading to help you".

"Jonathan, we aren't together because of your actions. You do understand that, right?"

"I know. I wish I could go back and change things".

"So do I, but you and I both know that can't happen".

"I know. I just never thought we would end up here".

"Me either. But, if we can't go back, we have no choice but to go forward".

"I don't want to go forward. I miss you, damn it. I hate this".

"Jonathan…."

"What?"

"I miss you too. But I am engaged".

Those words were like a dagger to his heart.

He was quiet after that.

The doctor came in.

"Mr. Hart, I think that you can possibly go home today. You will need to stay off your feet and rest as much as possible for the next week or so. And you will need to follow up with your regular doctor in 2 weeks to have your collarbone x-rayed".

"Thank you doctor".

"I am going to prescribe you some pain pills. Don't be afraid to take them if you need them".

"Yes, doctor".

He left then.

"Do you want to change clothes before we go?"

He nodded.

"All I brought for you was pajamas. I still had some at the beach house".

"Better than nothing".

She gingerly took off his arm sling, and helped him take his hospital gown off.

His chest had always been her favorite…

She helped him get his pajama top on, and then his sling back on.

"You all right?"

"Yeah, I think so".

She helped him stand up.

"Can you do your pants yourself, or do you need my help?"

"There was a time you wanted to do that for me".

"Yeah well, we thought we were married then".

He hung his head a little bit.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't fair".

"No, you're right. We did think we were married".

She helped him get his pajama pants on, and then she packed up his things and grabbed her bag.

The nurse came with a wheelchair and pushed him out.

She went and got the car, and took him to Willow Pond.

"Do you need to stop and get anything before we get to your house?"

"Just the pain pills."

"We can drop them off and have them delivered".

He nodded.

They had a quiet drive to Willow Pond.

They pulled up to the gate.

"Jonathan, what is the gate code?"

"Your birthday".

"You still haven't changed it?"

"Why would I? I will always remember your birthday".

She punched in the code and the gate opened, and she drove him up to the door and parked.

"Do you have your keys?"

He handed them to her, and she unlocked the door.

She opened his door, and helped him out of the car and into the house.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Couch for now".

She helped him to the couch, and got him settled.

She went and unloaded the car and brought his stuff in.

She started cleaning up the room. There were empty scotch bottles all over the place.

"Jennifer, you don't have to do that".

"It's ok. I don't mind".

He dozed off on the couch.

She had an idea.

She quietly set all the of the empty bottles down in front of him on the table. When he woke up, she was sitting across from him on the opposite couch.

"22".

"What?"

"22. 22 empty bottles of Scotch, that you drank".

"What's your point?"  
"Do you really miss me that much, or is something else going on?"

"You are engaged, remember? So the subject of my feelings for you, is closed".

"Well, if you are hurting yourself, then consider the subject opened again. Jonathan, just because I am not living here with you and I am not sharing your bed every night, that doesn't mean I don't care about you".

"If caring about you was enough, you would be here".

"You are the one who told me to stop living in a fairytale".

He sighed.

"I don't want to argue with you. I miss you. Damn it, I still love you".

"Jonathan, we have moved on".

"You keep saying that. I don't know how you managed to move on, because I sure haven't".

"Jonathan! I am engaged. We cannot talk about this again".

"Jennifer, I cannot be around you without thinking about how great we were, how great we could be. I can't help it, darling. I still want you".

"Jonathan, that's not fair. You know that I am in love with Jeff".

"Then how do we fix this?"

"Some things can't be fixed".

She stood up, and told him to call her if he needed her, and then she headed home.


	6. Chapter 6

***Six weeks later***

Jennifer was at her beach house. She was in full on anxiety mode. Her wedding was only a week away.

She hadn't spoken to Jonathan since she left him at Willow Pond. It killed her to leave him like that, but she knew if she had stayed, they would have kept talking about feelings, and she didn't think that was appropriate.

Jeff was coming by this morning to spend some time with her before he went to China.

She was running around the beach house getting everything together.

They were getting married at the Cadre Building, in downtown LA. The reception would be at the Four Seasons.

She was excited, but nervous. She had found a gown, and she had told her bridal party to wear hot pink, and black heels.

Everything else was coming together, albeit slowly.

Jeff knocked on her door, and she let him in.

"Good morning, Angel".

"Good morning, honey".

"I am going to miss you so much".

"I am going to miss you too. But when you get back, I get to be your wife".

"I can't wait".

She wrapped her arms around his waist.

"How much time do you have?"

"Just a few minutes".

She kissed him.

"Where are we going on our honeymoon?"

"Well, we are going to go somewhere you have always wanted to go, but we can't go till the week of Thanksgiving. I wasn't able to get a booking till then".

"Well, that's ok. Fiji will still be there. And I will have you all to myself for a week".

She kissed him again.

"Darling, do you want to move in here with me, or do you want me to move in there with you?"

"I want you to move in with me. We can keep this for weekends".

"Good plan".

"You are going to make me so happy, Jennifer Edwards".

"You already make me so happy, Jeff Collins".

They kissed for several minutes, and then he looked at his watch.

"I gotta go, baby. I love you, and I will call you tonight when I get there".

"I love you too."

She kissed him again, and then he left.

She shut the door and got back to work on wedding stuff.

For the next few days, she worked on wedding stuff and packed up some non-essentials.

She found an entire drawer of Jonathan's things. Old pictures, some clothes, some books of his.

It wasn't fair to Jeff for her to keep those, so she called Jonathan.

"Hello, Kelly? It's Jennifer Edwards. May I speak to Jonathan please?"

"Right away, Mrs. Hart, err, I mean Ms. Edwards. I'm sorry".

"It's alright, Kelly'.

She patched Jennifer through to Jonathan.

"Hello?"

"Hi. How are you feeling?"

"Good. I am almost completely healed".

"That's great. Listen, I am packing up the beach house, and I found a big drawer of your things. Can you come get them?"

"Sure. How about tonight, say around 8?"

"That will be fine. See you then".

"See you then".

She hung up before the conversation could go any further.

***Later that day***

She had made lots of progress as far as packing was concerned. She ordered in La Scala, and had it delivered.

She had just finished cleaning up from dinner, when he knocked on the door.

"Hi, thanks for coming".

He came in and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks for calling me".

"What else was I going to do?"

"Throw it out, I don't know".

"You know me better than that".

He nodded.

He started going through it.

"I think this is yours. You and I split all of these pictures when you moved out".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes".

She took the pictures back from him.

"Jennifer, can we have a drink and talk?"

"I suppose so".

She poured herself a glass of wine and got him a cocktail and handed it to him.

"I'm sorry, are you still drinking? I have non-alcoholic, if you prefer".

"This is fine, thank you". They went out to the terrace.

"Nice night".

"Yeah it is".

She sat down next to him on the swing.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Marry him. Throw away what he could have for good".

"Jonathan-"

"Just tell me. If you do, it's ok. I just have to hear you say it".

"I do love him. And he wants to marry me, and he makes me happy and he protects me. He takes care of me. He has never once lied to me, or hid things from me. That might seem like a small thing, but it's a big thing to me".

"Jennifer, I never stopped loving you. I never stopped being in love with you. I never will. You are the one for me. I may not be the one for you, but you are the one for me".

"That's very sweet, but-"

"But what, baby? You know we are good together".

"Jonathan, we have been all through this. You lied to me. You knew that we weren't legally married, and you didn't tell me. And it's not like you didn't tell me once, or you didn't tell me twice. You didn't tell me for 20 years. 20 years. You made a fool out of me, for 20 years".

"It wasn't like that, darling, honest".

"Oh? You remember things differently?"

"Yes, I do".

"Please, enlighten me. Because I think my memory is pretty damn clear".

"He asked me to let him perform our wedding. He hadn't graduated from seminary yet, but he told me he was still allowed to perform weddings and I trusted him. I shouldn't have, but I did. I believed that he was going to graduate seminary the next month and then our wedding would have been legal because he told me there was a 30 day window".

"I see".

"I am sorry, that that wasn't the case. I did get a phone call this week from the archdiocese that he was the priest for. They have reached an agreement".

"Oh, what is that?"

"Well, for those couples that have been married by him for less than a year, their marriage will be invalid. However, if you were married for more than 10 years, your marriage will still be counted, provided that the couple renews their vows by December 31st, with a catholic priest."

"I see. And when were you going to tell me this?"

"Well, I am not sure. I mean, you are getting married to someone else, so…."

"Jonathan, this still affected me. You should have told me. When did he call you?"

"This afternoon".

She nodded.

She looked up at the sky.

"Oh look! A shooting star!"

He looked up and saw it too.

"Make a wish".

She closed her eyes and squeezed them tight and made a wish.

Seizing the opportunity, he leaned over and kissed her.

"Jonathan! What are you doing?"

"Making my wish come true".

She got up angrily and headed inside.

He followed her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that".

"You had no right! I am engaged, don't you remember that?!"

"Remember that? As if I could ever forget it! It's all I think about, Jennifer, how many days I have left till you are lost to me forever. Yeah, I am aware that you are engaged".

"I didn't mean to throw it in your face, Jonathan. I didn't mean it like that".

"I know you didn't. It's just….nothing, absolutely nothing, makes sense without you. I can't concentrate on business, I hate being at our house, because you aren't there. I don't want to go anywhere else though, because if I see you, I am sure to see him right next to you. And I just want to punch his lights out, because you are supposed to be on my arm, in my bed, in my arms, in love with me. It was not supposed to be like this. We were supposed to grow old together. So what do I do, to get over you? I drink. I drink and I drink and I drink. And I stare at your picture, and I cry till I can't cry anymore at all. I miss you so much that it physically hurts me. The night of the accident, I was so mad that I made it through that. Dying without you would certainly be easier than living without you. But I woke up and there you were, and for one moment, it all made sense again. And then I saw the ring on your finger and remembered… and it was all I could do to not break down in front of you. I love you so much, and I don't know what I am going to do when you marry him. I am so sorry that I broke us, but I never dreamed that I broke us so deeply we couldn't be fixed".

Jennifer had tears running down her face.

"Jonathan, why didn't you say all of this to me before?"

"Would it have made a difference?"

"I don't know. But you might not have had the accident if you had".

"Tell me what I need to do to get you to come back to me. Whatever it is, I swear, I will do it".

"Jonathan, it's not that simple. We have planned a wedding. We love each other. I can't break his heart".

"Jennifer, please, he doesn't know what it's like to live with you as long as I do. He will get over it. I don't know that I can".

"Jonathan, that's not fair".

"It's the truth. It doesn't have to be fair".

"Just tell me what you want! What do you want? What, what do you want?"

"I don't know! I love him, I do. I miss you, so much. I miss us. And that part will never go away. But you hurt me, damn it. And I cannot go through that again, lying in bed for days crying over you. Packing my things and leaving without you being there. I dragged it out as long as I could, hoping you would come through the door and stop me. But you didn't. I slept for 3 nights here with the door unlocked, just so you could come in here and kiss me. And did you show up for me? No, you didn't. And now I am engaged to a wonderful man, who doesn't deserve to be hurt like this. This isn't a win-win for me Jonathan. I either hurt him, or I hurt you".

"So, don't focus on me and him. Focus on you. What do you want? Who do you love more?"

"I don't know".

She broke down in tears. He hugged her, and then he left, with his box of things.

She walked him to the door.

"I just want you to know, Jennifer, that I might move on someday and I might find someone and get married. But, I promise you two things-I won't love her like I love you. No matter who it is. And, all you have to do is come to me whenever, whether it's next week, or next year, or whenever, hell I could be 90, and tell me that you want me and that you are in love with me and I will leave them for you. You will always have my whole heart, Jennifer. Always. My head might get past this and move on from you, but my heart never will. And I refuse to believe that yours will either".

"I can't ask you to do that. I can't. That's not fair to them".

"No it's not. But is this fair to you?"

"None of this is fair to me. It wasn't fair to me that you lied to me. It's not fair to me that you are trying to get me back now that I am engaged. It's not fair to me that no matter what choice I make, someone is going to get hurt."

"Once you find out who you love more, you will feel better about this. And I want you to know, I will always love you, even if you don't love me. I won't be mad at you if you pick Jeff. Follow your heart".

He kissed her forehead and left.

She closed the door and cried.


	7. Chapter 7

***Night before Jennifer's wedding***

Jennifer and Jeff were at their wedding rehearsal. They ran through the ceremony several times, and then everyone in the wedding party went to dinner.

She tried to keep her mind off Jonathan and on Jeff, but it was hard.

After their rehearsal dinner, Jeff took her back to the beach house.

"The next time I see you, I will be standing at the front, waiting on you to walk down the aisle, and become my wife".

"I know. In case I never told you, thank you for loving me. You loved me when I thought nobody else would. You are an amazing man, and you made me a better person just by being in my life".

"Jennifer, that sounds like a breakup speech".

"It's not. It's just that we are going to a different place tomorrow. I wanted to tell you how I felt before we do".

"I love you, gorgeous".

"I love you too."

She kissed him and he left.

She went upstairs and went to bed.

***The next day***

Jennifer was up early. Her stomach was in knots. She didn't want to hurt Jeff, but she didn't think she should, or could, go through with it. It wasn't fair to him, if she still had feelings for Jonathan. And since she didn't know for sure, she needed to find out before she married another man.

She gathered her dress, and her makeup bag, and the overnight bag that she had packed to take to his house or to wherever they were staying tonight. She was going to talk to him before the ceremony and then decide. It was only fair.

She got to the Cadre building, and found her Matron of Honor and her bridesmaids.

She busied herself getting ready. Her dress was scoop neck, cap sleeves, and form fitting, with tucks and gathers below the waist. It had a lace overlay and crystals sewn throughout.

She got dressed and got her makeup and hair done, and then went to take pictures.

She and Jeff had agreed to not see each other till she was walking down the aisle. They were going to do a picture though, where they held hands around a corner.

That's when she was going to talk to him.

The bridal party noticed that she wasn't herself, but they thought it was just nerves.

After their pictures were done, she went to take the one with Jeff.

She pulled Kelsey, the photographer aside.

"Can you take the picture of Jeff and I, and then give us a few minutes to talk?"

"Certainly".

She was placed on one wall first. And then he was placed.

"Hi Angel".

"Hi. Are you as nervous as I am?"

"I am nervous, but excited too. I can't wait to marry you".

"that's sweet".

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me".

"Do you think we have what it takes to make it last, Jeff? I mean, really make it last?"

"Well, Angel, nobody knows that. We have to try our hardest. It's up to us".

"I'm having doubts, honey. I mean, I do love you. And I am in love with you, but I don't know if you and I are ready for this".

"I think that's just your nerves talking. Trust me, when you see me looking at you as you walk down the aisle, you will know. You will feel it. It's going to be ok, I promise".

The photographer told them their time was up.

"I love you Jennifer".

"I love you too".

He squeezed her hand, and then went back inside. A few minutes later, she went back inside as well.

She did not feel better at all. If anything, she felt worse.

About 30 minutes later, the wedding started.

She made it down the aisle, and to him. She had decided that she would go through with the ceremony, but break it off with afterwards, and that way they could get an annulment. It was the fairest thing she could do at this point, that would cause him the least embarrassment.

She zoned out completely during everything that was said, till they got to the vows.

She heard the minister say "Do you Jeff, take Jennifer to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Jeff nodded and said "I do".

"Jennifer, do you take Jeff, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better for worse, in sickness and health, from this day forward as long as you both shall live?"

Jennifer froze.

Everyone was staring at her. Stacy Griffin, nudged her.

"I'm sorry, can you ask me that again?"

"Do you Jennifer, take Jeff to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

"I Jonathan, take you Jennifer, to be my lawful wife." Jennifer turned to face him.

The groomsmen starting moving towards him and trying to have him removed. But he yelled over them and kept walking towards her.

"To have and to hold, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, as long as we both shall live, baby please!""

"I do!"

She turned back to Jeff, who still had her hand.

"I'm sorry, Jeff. Please forgive me".

She let go of his hand, and ran to Jonathan and straight into his arms.

Everyone was shocked. It was so chaotic.

She turned to look at Jeff. He looked so heartbroken.

She and Jonathan went back up the aisle and addressed the crowd.

"Jeff, I am sorry. I guess I am not over Jonathan like I thought I was. You will be just fine, you are an amazing man and you will find someone to love you, I'm just not the one for you".

She kissed him, and then turned to Jonathan.

"Everyone, thank you for coming today. We are more fortunate than most, as we have a second chance that most people don't get. So, while I apologize that you didn't get to see me and Jeff get married, I am thankful you get to see Jonathan and I get our second chance. Please, enjoy yourselves, and take care of Jeff here. He did absolutely nothing wrong, this is not an indication of his character at all. My heart just couldn't forget Jonathan." She turned to Jeff.

"I will reimburse you for everything. You did nothing wrong, I swear it".

He looked so sad, but understanding.

She took her ring off and handed it to him, and then kissed his cheek.

She and Jonathan headed out.

He helped her get her dress off, and change clothes, and then they left and headed to Willow Pond.

***Willow Pond***

He opened the door for her, and then carried her through the threshold. She was laughing.

He set her down, and kicked the door shut.

"I love you so much".

"I love you too, darling".

"Are you ok?"

"I hate that I hurt him. He really is a good guy. But it wouldn't have been fair to him to marry him, when I was still in love with you".

"I am so glad to hear you say that".

She kissed him.

"When did you know you were still in love with me?"

"I don't think I ever stopped. I think he filled a void, and that was nice. But every time I would see you, it would kill me afterwards. I would cry each time you left me."

"Oh darling…"

He held her close.

"We need to figure some things out".

"Like what?"

"Like what is the status of your car accident?"

They walked to the couch.

"Well, they didn't press charges because they don't have a blood draw to show that I was intoxicated. I settled with the guy though, and paid for all of his expenses. It was the right thing to do".

She nodded.

"I was so worried about you".

"I know. I scared me too".

"So, are we going to take the archdiocese up on their offer to renew our vows?"

"I think so. How about next weekend?"

"Perfect".

She kissed him.

"I cannot wait for this nightmare to be over. I just want to be Mrs. H. again".

"You will. But you know, you have always been Mrs. H. to me".

He kissed her and carried her upstairs.

***Epilogue***

Jennifer and Jonathan went to the Catholic church in Los Angeles the next weekend, together.

The priest, Father O'Leary, graciously agreed to perform their vow renewal. This church overlooked the ocean, so they all three walked down to the ocean and did it barefoot, in the sand. It was perfect, intimate, and so romantic.

After it was over, Jonathan and Jennifer went to the airport. He was taking her on a surprise honeymoon. She had no idea where they were going, but he had told her what to pack, so she knew it was somewhere warm.

As soon as they got on the airplane, he poured them some champagne, and they toasted and kissed and clinked glasses.

He had gotten her all new wedding rings too. This time, she had a 5 carat round solitaire with a halo setting and 15 carats of diamonds surrounding it and set into the band on both sides, all set in platinum. Her wedding band was also pave diamonds in platinum. She had gotten him a new wedding ring too, platinum with a beveled edge.

They got clearance to move around the plane.

"Darling, would you say our flight is going to take longer than 5 hours?"

"I think we are looking at 12-15 hours".

"Perfect".

She got up and headed to the bedroom, and changed into some lingerie. She poked her head out, and motioned for him to join her.

She motioned for him to bring the champagne.

When he got back there, she was laying on the bed in a white, see-through nightie.

"Honey, are you ok?"

He laid down on the bed next to her.

"Yes. Happy wedding night, darling".

"Happy wedding night".

He kissed her, as she started taking his shirt off him.

He quickly undressed, and climbed under the covers with her.

He massaged and suckled her nipples and kissed her neck.

"This is going to be better than our first wedding night. You are so gorgeous".

She kissed him, and reached down and held him. and then guided him to where she wanted him.

He teased her a little, and then kissed her as he thrust into her, and held her tight. She squeezed around him, and heightened the sensation for both of them, and rocked her hips along with his.

He sped up a little bit, and kissed her as they came together, and collapsed onto the bed with her.

"Well done, Mrs. H."

"Not so bad yourself, Mr. H".


End file.
